Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Hell hath frozen over

So it finally happened. We put that sorry piece of shit Barack Obama in the White House (from here forward, known as "the Black House"). You people are not just are lemming idiots. You have NO idea what this slimy shit is going to do, but you used Bush's screw-ups to condemn your best hope--John McCain. So what if he's older? So what if he doesn't have ALL the answers? Do you? Are YOU prepared to be Vice President? Do you even know what the hell that asshat Obama stands for?

Let me break it down for you. Obama is going to take the money from those who are working and give it to those who are not. Now, statistically speaking, MOST of those receiving this "free money" are of the same race as Obama. Let's not pull punches; let's just check the statistics. So, now that he's going to give MORE of MY hard earned money to these leeches on society, I am simply supposed to just go to work and suck it up, right? I think not.

He also has no policy in place for the war. Or for the economy. Or for anything, if truth be known. And in case you're wondering, my wife and I DO plan to move out of this soon-to-be-Socialist country to a place where true freedom rings--Canada...Australia...Great Britain. Anywhere but here. Any dumb shit ass clowns that would elect this anti-Christ are too stupid for words. You lemmings enjoy your socialism and your welfare. I'll take the easy road and move to another country. It may not be America, but at least we'll have the freedom to work and bring home our paycheck.

Obama, you are shit. I do feel as though you will not survive your 4 years in the Black House because there are too many people out there that don't like "your kind". There is a target on your head, and this 'plot' that was discovered just this past month will be the first of many. Better wear a bulletproof vest and a Kevlar helmet when you go out--"Johnny Redneck don't much like you colored type"! I personally don't give a damn about you either way. I didn't vote for you, therefore, I don't support you or anything you do. If I can't get out of the United Socialism of America in the next four years, I hope whoever goes up against your sorry ass runs you in the ground.

And lastly, to the are all parasitic pieces of shit. You ruined Sarah Palin's life, you ruined this election, and you'll ruin this country (more so than it already is). I didn't support Bush these last couple of years, but for you to run the Republican party in the ground like you did--you should all be removed from the gene pool. I tire of your polls and your rhetoric about nothing. Give me a break. Give me REAL news--a cure for cancer was found, nobody died today, global warming is decreasing--ANYTHING! You call yourself journalists...when in actuality, you are parasitic pond scum. Eat it, fuckers. This United Socialism of America is all yours.

Until next time...or should I begin studying up on my Arabic?

Monday, October 06, 2008

Barack "Change" Obama

Change? Obama for CHANGE? Yeah...I like this...

And WTF is up with these uneducated, obviously brainwashed stomp monkeys? Do they REALLY think this Obama is some sort of 'Alpha' or 'Omega'? GIVE ME A BREAK!


Friday, September 19, 2008

I'm not racist

Black, White, Yellow and Brown

You call me:
and you think it's OK.

But when I call you:
jungle bunny
spear chunker
wet back
porch monkey
sand nigger
rag head
camel jockey
slant eyes
you call me a racist.

--You have the United Negro College Fund
--You have Martin Luther King Day
--You have Black History Month
--You have Cesar Chavez Day
--You have Yom Hashoah
--You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi
--You have the NAACP
--You have BET

If we had WET(white entertainment television)...we'd be racist.
If we had a White Pride would call us racist.
If we had white history month...we'd be racist.
If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives...we'd be racist.
If we had a college fund that only gave white students know we'd be racist.
In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and would call us racist.
Did you know that some high school students decided to make a club for only the white students because the other ethnicities had them? They all got sent to court for being racist but the African-American, Latino, and Asia clubs were not even questioned.
You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

I am white
I am proud.

But, you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists?

Now watch, I'll be racist for posting this.

Monday, September 01, 2008


OK, so Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. Big deal, right? Why is it that everyone and their dog can have babies, but when Bristol Palin gets knocked up, it's news? Yes, it's probably not the best plan, but people have survived worse. I am voting for McCain--more so now because of his pick for VP. Sarah Palin is a firecracker and has the cajones to kick some ass and take some names.

My hat is off, however, to the one person I thought I would never tip my hat to--Barack Obama. He has instated a "hands off" policy about Bristol Palin's pregnancy, and that is a HUGE kudos for him. I don't like his ideas and I'm not voting for him, but I'll be damned if that wasn't just the absolute right thing to do. His words were (paraphrasing), "Families are off limits, and anyone breaching that policy will be fired." Bravo, Obama...but I'm still not voting for you! :-)

OK, that's all for now. We're going to sit here and watch Gustav come rolling in and enjoy a little excess rainfall. Until next time...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Our psychotic cat

OK, so anyone who knows me or about me knows that, for the past four months, we have been diligently and systematically remodeling our house. When I say "remodeling", I mean damn near demolishing the inside and replacing it. The kitchen, dining room, laundry room and two closets are affected presently, with projects in the works for two bedrooms and both bathrooms. I guess that's the price one pays for an 80 year old house that's been abused in the past. But I digress...

Anyways, we have this cat. He is the most frighteningly psychotic freak cat you'll probably ever meet. He is nothing but a bulimic shit factory! If he's not puking somewhere, he'll drop a load somewhere else. He rarely uses his litter box for its intended purpose, and he has recently come to use the remnants of the dining room and the nearly-completed kitchen as his litter box. Now, I can tolerate it for a while, but when it comes daily, and sometimes multiple times daily, I get agitated. Yesterday, after his second 'visit' to the kitchen (where I was slated to install the new floor on the same day), he dropped a steaming load right in the middle of the kitchen floor. Well, to say "I lost it" probably doesn't do it justice. I hunted the cat down, and proceeded to plant him smack dab in the middle of said pile. Upon his subsequent rapid departure, I took a shot at him with the right foot, landing him squarely against the wall.

Now, before you sic the SPCA on me, let me say that this was done in an absolute fit of rage. Normally, I just make my normal bitchy comment about it, and the mess is cleaned up--typically by my spouse. This time, it was a bit different. I don't know what happened, but I just went ape shit. I'm not one to abuse animals--at all. My wife is now very upset with me, and after a visit to the vet to make sure all was well, she's not speaking to me. By the way, the cat has no broken bones--a dirty coat of fur and maybe a bruise or two is about it. Oddly enough, I've never pounded this cat before, and won't again. It was just a series of mishaps that lead up to this whole incident, and the planets must have lined up just wrong or something.

So, the cat will be fine in a day or two. He's none too happy to see me living and breathing at the moment, and I can't say my wife is, either. The vet probably thinks I'm a horrible person, and I guess this one time, I probably am. I'm not really a 'cat person' to begin with, but when the cat doesn't like to be held or doesn't like to do things a normal cat does, I just don't have a lot of use for it. But, like a bad burrito, this too shall pass.

That's all of my venting for now. I just had to say it so I'd know it had been said. I'll get back to my life and see what comes of tomorrow. Until next time...

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Summer sucks

OK, so today is the first day in about two weeks that it hasn't been at or above 100º, and that just sucks. My 80 year old house has NO insulation in the walls, so the heat just kinda blows right in. We just spent $5000 getting a new air conditioner installed because the 22-year-old unit had rusted through and was leaving water rings on the ceiling (the AC is in the attic). Couple that with $4000 to have the house jacked up, blocked up, shored up and leveled up and the new kitchen/dining room that we've been working on all summer, and the tally is quite sobering. It's about a half-year's salary for me, so that seems to be a lot. The end result will be very nice and extremely functional, but damn...

School is about to start back up--my daughter will be starting the 10th grade, which officially makes me an old fart. I still remember the carefree days of fun and sun when I was that age. What the hell happened?

Other news in my life...let me see...Colts football has started up once again. I realize it's pre-season, but hey--it's FOOTBALL! I look forward to the first game that counts on Labor Day weekend! Now I have something to do when the remodeling is done on Sunday afternoons. Life is (about to be) good!

Enough for now. I'm looking forward to fall so I don't have to pay to run the AC all day and all night. I'll also be very busy at work when the fall semester hits, which is also a good thing. It's just time to get something going on besides remodeling. I'm very tired...of remodeling.

Until next time...

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The floods in Iowa

Where are all of the Hollywood celebrities holding telethons asking for help in restoring Iowa and helping the folks affected by the floods?

Where is all the media asking the tough questions about why the federal government hasn't solved the problem? Asking where the FEMA trucks (and trailers) are?

Why isn't the Federal Government relocating Iowa people to free hotels in Chicago?

When will Spike Lee say that the Federal Government blew up the levees that failed in Des Moines?

Where are Sean Penn and the Dixie Chicks?

Where are all the looters stealing high-end tennis shoes and big screen television sets?

When will we hear Governor Chet Culver say that he wants to rebuild a 'vanilla' Iowa, because that's the way God wants it?

Where is the hysterical 24/7 media coverage complete with reports of cannibalism?

Where are the people declaring that George Bush hates white, rural people?

How come in 2 weeks, you will never hear about the Iowa flooding ever again?

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Employment and woodpeckers

OK, so it's been a very long time since my last submission, and boy, have things changed! And by "changed", I mean CHANGED!

I recently was provided with the opportunity to begin what I consider to be a REAL career with a local university. I've actually been hired on as a true System Administrator, with full benefits and a very competitive salary. It is certainly a far cry from the previous employers, where chasing checks and constant strife because of financial problems was more commonplace than grass. My salary nearly doubled, and I have the added benefit of--benefits! Health insurance...and a huge discount on college tuition. Plus, I get the chance to prove that I am a hard worker and that I know more than I've been receiving a paycheck for. Windows, Unix,'s a whole different ballgame! SWEET!

I have been extremely busy as of late because we are in the process of completely removing the kitchen and dining room, rearranging the walls, and putting in all new. The hard part comes in because we are doing the work ourselves. Demolition is not an easy task, especially on an 80 year old house! The wiring is piecemeal, as is the wiring, the room additions and the foundation. When we're all done, it's going to look fantastic, but what a lot of work in the meantime! I just wonder if I knew when I started what I was getting in to! Every time a wall comes down, we find something else that needs to be fixed, changed or moved. UGH! In the end, I'll see the reward in the increased equity in the house (thanks to DIY channel and HGTV), but it's going to be a long, hot, dirty summer!

To the woodpecker whom shall remain nameless, I apologize for your untimely demise. I am pleased that your babies were raised and fledged before you departed. My wife is beside herself with despair, and the more I think about it, the more it saddens me. So much so that I wrote about it to try to feel better.

That's enough for now. I have to get back to work. We have 50 new computers coming in that have to be prepped for the fall semester, so I have a lot of work to do! I will try not to wait so long before my next submission! Until next time...

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Car accidents, snow, weddings and anniversaries

OK, so a LOT has happened since my last post. Where shall I begin...?

February 12 - I am involved in a head-on collision on my way to work, and my car is totaled. Want to hear the irony? The final payment on the car was received the day before. When I got the title a week later, the date on it was 2/12/08. So as it stands, the car I just paid off is now in a junkyard awaiting its fate as a 'parts car', while I shop for my next set of wheels. I have my heart set on a Hyundai Tiburon GT V6, and it looks like it's going to happen. The car is slightly customized and will fit me very well--the only "issue" is that it has black leather seats. This is almost always a no-no in Arkansas because of the hot summers, but I guess I will survive! I'm gonna miss my Mazda, though...we've been through a lot these past 5 1/2 years....

February 23 - my daughter turns 15. Ugh. I'm old. Fortunately for me, she's been an absolute delight thus far. She tries so hard to please everyone, and does it with gusto. She's just so damned nice...makes me fear for her when she's released out into the world. There are too many guys like ME out there that want to take advantage of sweet hearts like hers. I guess I'll just have to keep the guns at the ready...they can always be cleaned at those 'opportune' moments.

February 27 - my third anniversary. Wow. Who would have thought? It was a relatively normal day, with one exception. We got a house full of furniture as an anniversary gift to each other. Taxes came in (thanks, Uncle Sam) to the tune of nearly $6000, and I couldn't just let it sit there and not be spent! We went to Furniture Row and bought all new living room furniture. The shit we had was circa 1986, and was really tired. So now we have all of this nice furniture to sit on when we watch my recently-acquired 47" LCD television. Did I mention that? I got it as payment for building and hosting a website for Rush Satellite--the address is Not a bad job, if I do say so myself!

February 28 - I perform my first wedding as an ordained minister. Did I forget to mention that I am an ordained minister? I have a website for that, I have two more weddings scheduled in the next few weeks, and several more are pending. Summer is usually the "busy" season, so we'll just have to wait and see! The couple I married are very nice...and very young. I have seen better situations that don't last and worse situations that do, so I have to hope that it works out for them. They have a baby on the way soon, so the stress at their age (they're 19) is going to be tough. I remember those days, and can really relate to their position. Good luck to you, Robyn and Brandin!

March 4 - I wake up this morning to 2" of snow on the ground. Remember--we're in March. There are places here that got a foot of snow, while others just got a few flakes. I work about 20 minutes north of here, and they had about 4" of snow on the ground by the time I got to work. Unfortunately, the Arkansas weather prevailed, and by 2:00 in the afternoon, the snow was all but a memory here. It was our first and only snowfall of the season. It looks like we may just be heading into spring without much more than that. Such is life in Arkansas.

I guess that's all for now. I'm still anticipating the start of football season, but it looks like I've got just about 6 months. Maybe this year will be better for my beloved Colts! Until next time...

Monday, February 04, 2008

"Belichick Sucks" #1 search term for February 4, 2008!

It's now official--I have had nearly 100 hits today to my website/blog, and of those, over 80 have come from the search term "Belichick sucks" or "Patriots suck". Perhaps I'm not the only one that thinks that the Patriots are nothing but a bunch of whiny-ass crybaby douchenozzles?

Congratulations to Eli, Plaxico, Coughlin and the rest of the Giants! I wish I could send you money for shutting those pansy-ass shit eaters up!

Manning brothers - 2
NFL - 0
Tom Brady - (-1)

Until next time...

Sunday, February 03, 2008

The end of perfection

Bill Belichick sucks. Tom Brady sucks. The New England Patriots suck.


With that said, congrats to the New York Giants and my boy Eli Manning for winning Super Bowl XLII. If Peyton can't be in, there's nobody else that deserves it more than Eli and his Giants.

Oh, and the Patriots suck...


Saturday, February 02, 2008

The long, cold winter

OK, so I just realized that it's been two months since my last post. I have been extremely busy with life in general, so I have an excuse! Not that anyone ever reads these things...but I'll go on just because I've got a few minutes.

The holidays went very well, all things considered. We had Christmas with the in-laws, then another Christmas with the other in-laws, then Christmas with my family here, then Christmas with my family in Indiana. If I were to step out on to the 'sappy log', I would say I have been truly blessed with a large family. I even like most of them! I also had my first Amtrak experience, and that alone is worth an entire blog entry! Here's the Reader's Digest version...

We left Christmas night from Little Rock--around midnight. We boarded the train in the cold and dark and settled into our seats. Once the train began moving (4 minute stop), I began to explore the train. I had read on the Amtrak website that there would be food available, as well as a lounge car. Well, there was neither. The lounge had been closed since 7:00pm because they didn't have enough staff, and the dining car only had a 30 minute window of time in which to feed the entire train. What the hell is that? Oh, and to top it all off, we had the rudest conductors known to man. They had no information, and they were about as pleasant as a case of hemorrhoids.

The ride from Little Rock to Chicago was 14 hours by the schedule; however, due to delay after delay after delay, it took over 17 hours. We were supposed to have a 3+ hour layover in Chicago, but as it turned out, we barely made our connection. The connecting train was a bit more simple; there was no dining car or lounge car, which was fine. The ride was only about 3 hours long, so who had time for all that? We arrived at our destination, only to be met by 35º temperatures and an icy rain. What a ride!

The return trip--well, it was like night and day as compared to the trip north. Our train was still delayed, but the conductors kept us posted every step of the way. They were pleasant, and smiled every time they passed by. The dining car actually scheduled seatings for diners, and the lounge car was open for business (BONUS!). So we rode in luxury, enjoying internet via Sprint phone connection, beer via the lounge car, and a hot meal via the dining car. The only part I hated was that we were leaving behind nearly a foot of new-fallen snow. The scenery was like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Regretfully, I came back to a place where snow is about as common as a third thumb. I hate Arkansas.

Since then, it's been work--work--work. I have had an extremely busy January, so much so that I didn't even realize that January was over until this morning. It's already Groundhog Day! And the prediction is in--Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow! Six more weeks of winter. YES! Then again, we're in Arkansas. That means shit here. It was over 70º just 5 days ago, and the predicted high on Monday is over 70º once again. Bleh. I hate this place. Did I already mention that?

So, life moves on at a very rapid pace. The school year will be over in just a few weeks, and another god-awful HOT summer in Arkansas will follow. I can't get my ass moved to Indiana fast enough. My daughter is finally turning her grades around in school, and seems to be making the adjustment from Billy Bob's School of Redneck in Greenbrier. She takes all advanced placement (AP) classes, and she's doing well. Granted, she's no Yale scholar, but she's doing well enough to earn herself a place in a college somewhere when the time comes. Bradley is...well, he's just Brad. What can you say about him? He's about to graduate from UCA and is considering a Master's degree. He hates school, yet he is choosing to continue the torture. I know not what the future holds for him, but with his motivation and intelligence, it shouldn't be too hard for him. He's a good kid...he's just a damn knucklehead!

That's about it for now. The Super Bowl is tomorrow--whoopty-fuckin-do. The Patriots will likely finish their season undefeated at 19-0*. What's the * for, you ask? The cheating, lying and deceit that has plagued the Pats for this season (and rightfully so) will forever leave a scar on what will most likely be the second 'perfect' season in the history of the NFL. Bill Belichick is an asshole. Tom Brady is a self-centered ass clown. The Patriots aren't "the best team ever", as ESPN so proudly stated. They're just lucky. That's all. Super Bowl victory or not, they still suck.

I'm outta here. Until next time...