My time in hell is almost done!

So, the time has almost come--my days overseas now are few. It has been the longest year plus I think I've ever endured. I have accomplished most of the tasks that I set out to accomplish, but DAMN...I don't ever want to do that shit again!

My anticipated "return to reality" date is June 2 or 3, depending on when my flights land and how quickly I can get out of Indiana. Camp Atterbury isn't the kind of place that you want to stay in--it's a dumpy Army base with nothing much to do but eat at Subway or have a beer and a steak at the All Ranks Club. Either way, it's American food served in America. That is something that I haven't had in quite a few months!

I hope that I am able to retain a solid position working in Little Rock so my demobilization date sticks, but in the event that I'm not able to find work, I do have a backup plan--that I hope I don't have to use. I have already signed an extension for another 90 days, which will allow me to continue making the hideous amount of money that I'm currently making, whilst I continue to aggressively pursue a permanent position. It's unfortunate that the employment market is as dismal as it is, but I hope to convince someone that I am as awesome as I am!

The first weekend after my anticipated return home is already booked solid--I'm headed to Gatty 6.0 in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. It's my first official car show as a participant, but I don't plan to win anything. My car has been sitting under a cover inside a garage for the past 14 months. It's clean, detailed, and is carrying a full tank of premium fuel and a fresh oil change. I do have an assload of "stuff" that I've obtained over the past year to bolt on--simple stuff, you know! A new OEM navigation head unit, LockPick v5, a rear-view camera, a complete set of custom badges, and a bunch of other little things. It's not much, but I don't want to change the look of the car too much. After all, it was Alice Cooper's car!

The guitar, signed by all four
band members, including
some lyrics from "School's
Out".

I was recently able to procure an autographed guitar that was originally part of the sale of the car. Apparently, the broker who wrote up the sale decided he was going to keep the guitar, and he ended up selling it on Ebay. Through numerous emails and a couple of very long distance phone calls, I was able to track down the guitar, and it will now accompany me on road trips to car shows. I mean, it IS part of "the car" when you talk about the Alice Cooper Challenger, right? I just look forward to hanging out at the show and meeting all of the people that I've been corresponding with on the ChallengerForumz that I've been frequenting since I purchased my Challenger in January, 2012.

The Tisas 1911 .45

Other than that, I have also been building my arsenal of weaponry at home. Given the state of society these days and the uncertainty of the Obama administration, I believe it's imperative that we be well-armed and ready for anything. Leslie has gone through the Carry Concealed Weapon classes, and I will be going through them just as soon as I can get enrolled. I did manage to get my hands on a Smith & Wesson .40 caliber semi-automatic pistol, as well as a Tisas 1911 .45 semi-automatic pistol. These, along with a half-dozen boxes of hollow point ammo, and I should be good to go. The S&W pistol is the concealed carry weapon, while the Tisas is the home defense weapon. They compliment Leslie's .380 semi-automatic pistol that she carries. Believe me when I tell you--we're armed and ready!

The Smith & Wesson .40

I guess I'll close for now. Hopefully, the next time I post, I'll be home, and no longer in this God-forsaken hell hole. If I have to eat one more grilled cheese sandwich or one more ice-cream scoop of mashed potatoes, I'm going to scream. Combine that with the weekly "INCOMING INCOMING INCOMING" alerts, and you've got yourself a true hell. I have 39 days left at Bagram as of today--and assuming I have a job to go home to. Wish me luck!

Until next time....

I say 'good bye' to my best friend

Lacee's last day, doing what she did best.

This is the post that I wish I would never have to type out. Our dog, Lacee, had lost the fight against old age. She was my best friend, my relentless companion, my walking partner, and my 'rug'. She could sleep through a hurricane, but at the first hint of food being put in her bowl, it was like she had bionic hearing. Her crunchies and green beans were her favorite--but, then again, what wasn't?

She was well-traveled, having made numerous trips to visit family in Missouri, as well as a long-distance road trip to Indiana last year. She rode like a champ, spending most of the time laying on her favorite pillow, looking around like Queen Astor. She was the best companion for traveling...or for anything.

Her condition started out as just a slight limp, but within a few days, she had become almost immobile. As with many big dog breeds, her back had issues, and there was nerve impingement and some pretty severe pain. It was inoperable because of her age, and simply because there wasn't much that could be done. Surgery would be extremely expensive, and the results were unpredictable, at best. So, after spending more than a week with several veterinarians, trying different therapies, drugs and shots, we had to make the decision that nobody wants to make.

Lacee's final moments in the vet's office. The towel was
used to help carry her back end, which no longer could
support her.

We took her to see Dr. Andrea Razer, whose tableside manner and gentle kindness had always been welcome, especially in a time like this. She offered her condolences, and her soft-spoken professionalism as she administered the final dose. Taarna (Madison) was there to assist, but in her true style, she bawled and squalled like a baby.

It was a very difficult time, and being 8,000 miles away made it extremely difficult for me. She was my closest friend, and to not be there for her or with her in her final moments is a regret that I won't soon live down. I am just glad that she was surrounded by those who loved her and whom she trusted.

It's never easy to lose your best friend, but if there was ever a poster pet for rescuing, Lacee would be it. The perfect dog with the perfect attitude. Never barked, never bit, and only wanted a scratch. I will miss you, Lacee...and you will never be forgotten.

"Welcome" to Afghanistan?

So, after 11 months in the land of expansive sand and sun, I made the choice to move on to Afghanistan. This option afforded two things--a change of scenery, as well as an increase in pay. The change in scenery isn't much--mountains instead of sand dunes, and grass and trees instead of sand and rock. As for the pay increase...well, that one needs no explanation. I'm here to make the money, and the uplift is significant. My time is limited, however; I will be homeward bound on June 1, unless something drastic happens, or I can't find gainful employment in the meantime. Time will tell there.

Because life here is much like Groundhog Day, there isn't really much to report on. I did make a trip home in November of last year, and had a grand time. I reacquainted with family, hung out with my dog, and drove my oh-so-awesome car. But, like all good things, the trip ended too soon. I was back in the land of sand and rock mere days later...awaiting my final return home.

As for the kids, the boy has finally entered college after being out of high school for a mere 5 years. I hold my breath for the time being, as history hasn't really worked in his favor too much. He did manage to pick up a vehicle that is 100% his, and not something that some apathetic bag of protoplasm had bought for him to let him use and abuse at will. We shall see how it goes, but each day that passes simply adds to the hope. The girl...has a much different story. She has bounced around from house to house, living nowhere for more than a couple of weeks, using her friends up like old toilet paper, destroying friendships over made-up drama, and lying like there's no tomorrow. My hope for her is that she'll eventually tire of the lifestyle of a gypsy, but at this point, I don't know. I did provide he with financing for a car, which went south almost immediately. The car was repossessed and repurchased, all within just a few short weeks. As I said...hope isn't very high right now, but we must soldier on.

I wish I could say there's more to report, but other than the minor day-to-day bullshit, it's just eat, work, sleep. Once I'm closer to being gone, I'll exert more effort. Want to see pictures? They're either in my Picasa album or on my Facebook/Google+ page. That's all I have for now. Until next time....

Summertime in Kuwait is about to be over!

Well, it's now been ANOTHER 90 days. I promised myself I wouldn't get behind on my blog, and we see how that went! So much has happened...where shall I begin?

Since my last post in June, we've endured a "typical" Kuwaiti summer with highs in the upper 120s and lows in the upper 90s to low 100s. We did have a few days over 130°, but I survived with little more than a good sweat. Odd thing about the extreme heat--when I'm outside and the temperature is around or above 120°, my hands actually get so hot that it feels like they're on fire. I mean, to the point where I run them under "cold" water. I put that in quotes because, during the summer, the cold water here is around 120°-125°. That's what most households set their water heaters to! The hot water here is truly HOT--they typically set the 50 gallon tanks to 180°, so hot is REALLY hot! You never use the hot water during the summer, and only small amounts during the winter. It's crazy, I tell you!

Album of pictures from the
Mediterranean cruise

I did manage to knock a few things off of my bucket list this summer. Leslie and I went on a Mediterranean cruise, and what an awesome experience! We had 2 stops in France and 3 stops in Italy before returning to our port of debarkation--Barcelona. Although my phone was stolen at the Barcelona airport upon my arrival, everything else went pretty much like clockwork the rest of the week. The Hotel Catalunya was amazing, the cabin on the ship was amazing, and the food--holy shit--the food was AMAZING! There was just SO much of it! If you've never been on a cruise, I highly recommend it. Royal Carribbean isn't the cheapest, but they make up for it with amenities like you wouldn't believe--amazing Broadway-style shows, an ice show like no other, customer service that was second to none, and just an overall A+ experience. I sound like a commercial, but it really was just that damn awesome. We had fun every single day, and saw amazing sights like Pompeii, the leaning tower of Pisa, downtown Florence, the Pantheon, Mt. Vesuvius, the French Riviera, and a host of other sights. I took a lot of pictures, but Leslie tells me that pictures without one of us in them would be "less interesting", so forgive me if my photos are "less interesting" because I was just snapping picture after picture in awe.

Upon my return to Kuwait, I found out that we were moving into different accommodations. Notice I didn't say "better" accommodations--just "different". It's still a CHU, as they're called here (Containerized Housing Unit), which basically amounts to a box with doors. They have air conditioning, but when the dust storms hit, the dust just blows right in through the window units. We had a really bad sandstorm just 24 hours after we had moved in, and I came in after work to find all of my stuff--laptop, Xoom, TV, bed) covered with a very heavy layer of talcum-powder-fine dust. So I spent the next 3 hours cleaning, washing and meticulously dusting my electronics....only to have the storm intensify overnight into a full-blown blackout sandstorm the following day. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE this place?

So that brings us up to now. Nothing much really changes here day-to-day. The temperatures are finally falling to mid-70s at night and lower 100s during the day, and the cold water is now actually not scalding hot. I will be taking pictures and video of everything as soon as I move back to day shift. As much as I prefer the night shift (7p-7a), it is a highly sought-after time slot, and my time was short. I will be back on nights as soon as someone leaves, which shouldn't be long. Turnaround at this place is tremendous. I've been here 6-1/2 months, and we've already lost 1/2 of the staff that was here when I got here in March. That's just a small sign of how much this place sucks.

To answer a few questions I've gotten via email--no, I have not cut my hair yet. It is about down to the middle of my back now. I'll cut it after I am moved back to the states for good and donate it then. Another question--yes, it REALLY DOES get to be 130°+ here during the summer. I have a couple of pictures on my Facebook page of the thermometer on my bicycle reading well over 130°. Although it only got that hot about a dozen times this summer, it was enough to convince me that I don't want to live here on a permanent basis! Another--I plan on being here until August 1, 2013. I don't think I can take much more than that. That will be a year and a half, and that's certainly enough for me. Last one--my "room" is about 12'x22', and it is divided roughly in half. I have the front half (with the door and the tiny window), so my actual space is only about 9' wide and maybe 10' long. A metal bunk bed, 2 wall lockers, and my 'personal stuff" (TV, laptop/desk, small refrigerator, microwave) are the amenities that we have. Entertainment is to download movies and TV shows to watch on days off. That is life in Kuwait!

Until next time....

Kuwait--the first 90 days

So I've now been here for about 90 days, and what a time it has been. In those 90 days, I've been through the gamut--from injuries to entertainment to everything in between! Here's the Reader's Digest version:

• Toby Keith in concert
• Ambulance ride to Camp Arifjan for what could equate to bad heartburn, thanks to an overzealous co-worker
• Studying for certification exams
• Passing the COMPTIA Security+ exam
• Weekly dust storms of epic proportions--50mph winds with sand and dust so heavy you can't see your feet
• Thunderstorms that would dwarf a typical thunderstorm in the US--complete with purple lightning!
• Sprained ankle so bad that it looks like a broken leg

And that's just the first 90 days! I look forward to what Kuwait has for me in the next 90 days!

As far as things go, it's been moving as fast as I had hoped it would. There is very little to do here, so boredom becomes your worst enemy. They have movies every day, all day long...but how many times can you watch the same crummy movies? Because we're 25 miles from the nearest--anything--you have to find a ride anytime you want to do something or go somewhere. It typically takes many months to get a Kuwaiti driver's license, at which point you become everyone else's chauffeur, which is also a curse. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.


I have been studying for certification tests in order to move from Service Desk to System Admin. That's the whole reason I came to Kuwait in the first place, and if my recruiter with ITT/Exelis hadn't been such a stark raving idiot (that's Shelley Haymaker, in case you were wondering). I just told her to get me on a plane and I would do the rest. At that point, after eight months, I just had to get moving before the window of opportunity closed. So, with the COMPTIA Security+ exam out of the way, next stop is my MCITP: Server Administrator, then finally, the MCITP: Enterprise Administrator. The second is the BIG certification--it's the hardest, but can lead to the most open doors. The first certification takes two tests, and the second takes three. It's fortunate that there is a considerable amount of down time here to allow for studying, as there is a LOT of studying to do! I'll just be glad when that part is done.


The dust storms here are absolutely ridiculous! They come out of nowhere, with the worst one hitting in the middle of the night on May 3. Known as a 'Haboob', these storms are crazy! May 3, the winds were hurricane-force (75+ mph), and carried enough dirt to completely immobilize a vehicle in a matter of minutes. The air conditioners struggled to keep the rooms cool, but required washing over the course of the next few days in order to clear the pounds of sand out of the coils that accumulated in just one night. We have since had several "lesser" storms--but don't let that fool you. Even the lesser storms can get ugly fast! Last week's storm shut down the base for two days--the trucks that haul water in and sewage out couldn't drive, so things turned ugly really quickly. The toilet sources here are typically porta-potties (known as 'the hotbox'), and when they go more than 24 hours without a little maintenance, it becomes quite a mess. But we survived once again.


Summer has arrived, even if the calendar doesn't say so. It's been at least 110º-115º here every day since mid-May, with highs reaching as high as 125º so far. It's early for such temps from what I understand, so this summer looks to be beyond 'extremely hot', more like 'deadly hot'. Predictions by the weather team here, you ask? Looks like 140º or more will be common. I'll never complain about Arkansas summers again!


That's it for now. Time to get back to work. Until next time....