Thursday, June 17, 2004

Unemployment sucks

People ask me what it's like to be unemployed. And there is no easy answer to describe it.
It's different for everyone, but I've noticed that there are about 3 different types of unemployed people.
The 'Fuck the company and the whole fucking world' type:
Those that have never gotten over the fact that they were laid off in the first place. They are bitter and still want to talk about the goings on at the company. Day after day after day. They've also given up on looking for a job but will never tell you that. They hear that people say jobs are hard to find, etc., but they don't seem to be doing any looking themselves. The information they collect and thrive on is purely hearsay. They stay up till 3am, wake up at 11am and watch TV in between the two. These people have shitty resumes, and don't care if their resume mixes past and future tenses. They are like, "Huh? Oh really? Does that matter?" They are so bitter that they get upset when other unemployed friends get interviews, let alone a job! I think they masturbate a lot and are always exhausted.
The 'Oh my fucking god' type:
This is the panicker type. Lots of anxiety. Must be online, must be looking for work at all times. Very automaton. These people set their alarms for early in the morning and pride themselves on finding a job posting first. They are all over the fucking job message boards and forums, and drive everyone else in their life batty with their 'Oh my fucking god, I don't have a job, I am a wreck' attitude. They still keep schedules and hardly ever goof off, thinking that if they do, they will lose out on some opportunity. They frantically check their voice and e-mail all the time. They go to those gay layoff parties to network, thinking it's actually gonna make a difference.
The 'Oh well, guess I'll take some classes or paint' type:
You don't see too many of these people out there, but they are the ones that can actually enjoy unemployment. They spend their time boosting their professional and technical skills, frequenting the gym (thus being their healthiest in 10 years), and catching up on all those novels and magazines next to the bed. Even though they know what's going on out there in jobless land, they don't get upset about it. They feel that this time off is an 'opportunity for personal growth'. These are the type of people that might be unemployed for a long time, but it somehow doesn't make a difference. They may even turn down jobs along the way because it won't be challenging enough, while the 'oh my fucking god' type will jump at every opportunity, no matter how lame. They are people who sometimes do yoga or meditate.

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