Goodbye, old friend

Although today is officially a "holiday", I had to do something this morning that anyone with a soul would never enjoy. Our dog, Amore, left us this morning just a few minutes before 7:00am. Her departure was very unexpected and traumatic, and I can't begin to describe the empty space her absence has left. She did have the life of a king the last couple of years, spending 20 hours a day sleeping, mixed with 3-4 hours of scratching and petting, with a meal or two thrown in for good measure. It's been a long time since I've lost a pet, and now I remember why--I'm not good with the empty space left afterwards.

I'm very fortunate in that I took these pictures just three days ago, not having a clue of what was to come. She is in her "natural" state--on the couch like she's the queen of the world. It hurts, and I don't care who knows. I just want to sit here and wait for it to stop hurting so much. Goodbye, Amore...you were truly the best dog a person could ask for.

40 years old

Holy shit...what just happened? Today, I turn 40. Yes, that's FORTY...ten more than 30. I can still remember high school graduation--22 years ago. Where did it go? I have teenage children, and my parents are well into their 60s. It wasn't supposed to happen this fast! I had so many things I wanted to accomplish by the time I reached 40, and so few of them have actually happened. I have seen many foreign countries (check that off)...I have been on a cruise (check)...I have been married and had kids (check). Also, sadly enough, I have lived to see my four grandparents die, as well as my step-grands and grand-in-laws.

Never again will I see the days of staying up all night and sleeping all day. Gone are the days of knocking off a 12 pack and then still being able to function. The music isn't as loud, and the car isn't as fast. I also look back on previous relationships and wonder where it all went. Best friends, girlfriends, party buddies, Army buddies, high school and college acquaintances. Man, there were a bunch, weren't there? Now, we're down to a small handful of friends and the memories of good times past.

I guess as long as I continue to see the top side of the grass, I should be grateful. I just see other 40 year olds and wonder if they have the same dreams and wishes that I have. As I begin to see "mid-life" as a reality, I vow not to become one of those guys who buys a closet full of Hawaiian shirts and buys a hot rod convertible just to try to relive the past. I already own a closet full of T-shirts, which I will continue to wear, and as for the car...give me a Tiburon any day!

I'm about to head out to the local jazz club and have a few beers while I listen to some smooth sax, remembering the days when hair bands ruled the world and I thought I was bulletproof. Funny how things change so much in such a short time. Until next time...

What is wrong with people?!

Anna Nicole Smith...Paris Hilton...Nicole Ritchie...Lindsay Lohan...I have seen all of these names pop up at the TOP of the CNN and MSNBC websites over the past several months. They've been drinking and driving, passing out at parties, falling over themselves, and in the case of Ms. Smith, dying. As tragic as this may seem to some, let's have a nice tall glass of reality.

Iraq...Iran...Afghanistan...these are all countries we have heard some about in the past few years. Ask someone before September 11 where Baghdad is, and they'd simply shrug and say, "I have no idea."

Now, that's not the case. We all know where Baghdad is. We all know where Afghanistan is. We all know where Iran is. And we've all seen the many faces of the towel-headed freaks that act as if they're some kind of god. My opinion? Kill them all and let God sort them out! The whole point is, why are Paris Hilton and Anna Nicole Smith so important that they get headline news on CNN, MSNBC, Fox and any other news channel, but the soldiers who give their lives to see that we have the freedom to horde information about these damn celebrities don't even qualify for more than a blip showing "another soldier dies in Iraq today..." and nothing more is said. These soldiers have families--children, spouses, mothers, fathers--who are all deeply saddened by the death of their loved one. At the same time, these people at least can hold their head up because their loved one died to liberate freedom for us.

My brother-in-law recently completed his second tour in the Middle East. A tour in Afghanistan and a tour in Iraq flying Apache helicopters. Think he wasn't a prime target? He was shot at numerous times, but was fortunate enough to get out with his ass still intact. Now I have a nephew headed to Iraq as an infantryman. In case you didn't know, these guys are more like the pawns on a chess board. They are the front-line defense in the approach to hot spots, and are typically the first ones to put their ass on the line. There is a good chance he'll come home alive and well, but the odds of him being injured or worse are also too high for comfort. If he gets injured or killed, will that death warrant a headline on CNN? I can answer that--NO. He will be another one lumped in with the sub-headline "Another soldier dies in Iraq." No names...no families...just a small blip.

For those who have lost family members in Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Korea, Germany, the Philippines, and any other foreign land that the US occupies--I remember them, and I thank you. You are all important, and your loved one did not die in vain. As for these celebrities getting all of the attention, you are all welcome to die in a fire. These people are dying for YOUR freedom. Who are you to think you're better than any one of them?

I've said enough. I need to go find something patriotic to do. My soldiers depend on it. Until next time...

**CRASH!!**

It really sucks when you try to do something simple and it ends up wreaking havoc in so many ways. You see, I was simply adding some drive space to my server--simple, right? NOT!

Eight days later, I have had to completely rebuild my server, do an emergency data recovery to pull the hundreds of gigabytes of data that was LOST in failed RAID arrays, and rebuild the email server and the web server that service my website clients. What a pain in the ass! On the good side (if there is one), the server has been moved to a bigger case made for a server, filled with 10 hard drives, 12 cooling fans, and several cool blue fans and neon lights. It is a bad ass machine, but damn, it's a bitch to rebuild! I now have about 1.5 terabytes of drive space to store all of my "stuff", and it's not showing any errors!

In layman's terms, the server is happy and no data was lost. Only a true computer geek would comprehend and appreciate the amount of work involved. The everyday Joe just says, "Oh, that's nice."

So, I'm outta here until next time. I need some sleep. Until next time...

A note about "The Pontiff of Rock 'N Roll", Michael P

After my previous post about the passing of the infamous Michael P. Langley ("Michael P" to Magic 105 listeners), I received an email from his sister that made me feel much better about his last years.

I would like to comment on your piece about Michael P. Just to let you know, he did not die "alone". He was living with me (his sister) and my family in Lafayette, LA. He was also in the hospital when he passed. He was my big brother and I loved him immensely. He had even visited with our younger brothers and our mother and spent time with all of them. We all appreciate the time that we had with him over the last year. He did become somewhat a recluse while living in Little Rock due to some back and heart problems. Since he moved in with me, he became the old Michael that everyone knew. He was even thinking about looking for another radio job down here. He got out and about more in the last 9 months than he did in the last 2 years living in Little Rock. One thing that he was proud of was his love for his listeners. I think that everyone in Little Rock, and maybe even in Arkansas, knew his voice and his name. He always tried to give back to the friends and loyal listeners he had and he never met a stranger. He could put everyone at ease and make everyone feel that they had known each other for years. I have received a lot of calls and cards from his friends and each and everyone expressed a great sadness that he had passed. I may be prejudiced, but there will only be one Michael P. Langley. He was our big brother and we will miss him very much. I appreciate you remembering him and hope that everyone will remember him as the "consummate professional" that he was.

Sincerely,

Renee Langley
(Michael P's sister)